Miracle's Dream (Chapter 18)

Summary: A young girl who seemed to have no connection at all to any of them are the one who brought them together and drove them apart. She’s the one who shows them the real person they could be. 

Chapter Word Count (Total): 1,631 (25,049)
Rating: PG-15 in later chapters due to PDA and sensitive issues
Disclaimer: I do not own people... Mentioned people in this fiction belongs to themselves and their professional self, belongs to Johnny's Entertainment

Warning: Character Death

Catherine refused to see Yasuda, Nishikido and Yamashita. There was only one person that was granted permission to see her at that point. She did not want to appear cruel. But she needed to do that.

“Hiro-kun please tell nii-chan I’m really sorry.” Catherine said as she gasps for air. She could feel her time was dawning near. “I can never let them see me like this. Tell them I say thank you for everything.” she said as her voice became softer.

His whole body trembled. Holding back his tears was not an easy task for Uchi. “Saku-chan just hold on for a little longer ne.” He spoke softly as his slim long fingers gently caressed the young girl’s hair. Catherine just gave him a sad smile. “Nii-chan is on his way. You have to tell him yourself.” Uchi’s voice quivered as he spoke.

“Minna, arigatou.” Catherine managed to whisper with such finality as her eyes shut for the last time. Her heartbeat gradually slows down until it stopped.

The final beep could be heard outside the closed room. Yasuda let his final tear dropped as he held Nishikido back. Nishikido tried to free himself from Yasuda’s tight hold but he could not. the doctors rushed to her room but Yasuda was quick to stop them at the entrance. “She had suffered enough.” Yasuda spoke as he stopped the team of doctor and nurses. “It’s her last wish.” he said releasing the other man.

He had to be strong. He had to be the one who holds up the team. He was so broken in side that it hurts to even breathe. But he had promised her to let her go when her time comes. He promised her to be the strong one. Yasuda felt weak and small, yet he appears to be the strongest on the surface.

Uchi dragged his heavy leg to the group of men assembled outside the room. All he could do was shook his head. Yasuda flopped on the chair as Nishikido pushed his way through to where Catherine was. Yasuda was quick to follow Nishikido. “You have to let her go, Ryo. She can’t go in peace if you keep being like this.” Yasuda said softly coaxing the other man.

Ueda who was the one that found Catherine on the floor that morning gasping and the one who drove both Catherine and Nishikido to the hospital laid his hand on the small of Nishikido’s back. “Matte.” he said softly as he pulled the other man outside.

Yasuda trailed the two figure with his eyes. When he was sure, they were out of sight a single teardrop fell on the lifeless body. “Gomen ne Saku-chan. I wasn’t there with you.” He whispered. Gradually one by one the other members and their friends came in.

“Daijoubu?” Yasuda heard Murakami’s voice asked him softly. He took in a deep breath as he nodded. For the last time his eyes trailed the lifeless body of the kid he once called his sister. His eyes caught something in her hand. The guitar pick that was strung that was made into a pendant was firmly grasp in her hand. Gently he peeled her hand and took it. “You never really left her side at all do you.” Murakami added.

*******

It was after everyone had left the house except for a few other Johnnies that was left behind Yasuda excused himself to be alone for a little while. After they left the hospital, he had not shed a single tear for Catherine. “Yasu?” The oldest member of Kanjani8 said as he came to Yasuda’s room.

“Nani?” Yasuda replied standing up instantly.

Yokoyama just shook his head. “Honma ni, daijoubu?” he questioned. Yasuda just nodded as he forced a smile on his face awkwardly. “You can come talk to me if you want to. Whenever you want to.”

Yasuda nodded. “I’m just tired really. I’m okay.” He said as he neared the older man. “I’m not going to mourn not because I’m not sad. It was her very last request. I’m just trying my best to fulfil it.” Yasuda tilted his head up a little as he spoke. He knew one by one, his friend would come in his room to make him feel better if he was not with them. “Let’s go.” he said pushing the older man outside.

Ueda never left Nishikido’s side since the scene at the hospital. They were talking quietly in a corner as Yasuda came to join them. Yasuda just greeted them back with a gentle smile. Nishikido quickly turned his head from the smaller man.

Yasuda took the hint and changed his plan to speak to Nishikido at that moment. He understand Nishikido is the kind that needs time to digest the sadness. He never really handled with a loss before.

Quietly he sat himself with the big group in the middle of the living room. Instantly, the whole group who was talking became silent as all eyes was averted to him. Puzzled, Yasuda spoke. “Nande?” he asked innocently.

His reaction made the group burst in laughter. The same instant, as if something possessed over Nishikido, he shot straight towards Yasuda. Yasuda’s head fell on the carpeted floor. He was lucky in the sense that his head was only millimeters from hitting the Japanese style coffee table behind him. Yasuda was quick to react with a forceful punch on Nishikido’s jaw sending the other man to the ground beside him.

The next thing he knew was he was already on top of Nishikido with hand on Nishikido’s neck and his knee on the other man’s chest pinning him on the ground. Every other idol in the room just backed off except for Maruyama and Tanaka. A split second passed, suddenly Yasuda looked confused as he released Nishikido and quickly backed off from him. “Gomen nasai.” Yasuda said panting slightly. The two other man just held Nishikido, afraid he would attack for the second time.

“You’re such a hypocrite Yasu. You never really cared about her at all do you.” Nishikido shouted. His face were flushed with anger.

Yasuda just smiled at that statement. He might seemed a little disconnected sometimes but he is never a hypocrite. He let out a laugh as he took a letter from his pocket and threw them at Nishikido. “Think whatever you want. But until you read that get out of my face.” Yasuda spoke as he moved away from the group with Shibutani and Yokoyama trailing behind him.

When Yasuda was out of sight, the two men holding Nishikido loosen their grip and eventually letting him go. Nishikido picked up the unopened letter and he quickly opened it.

‘Ryo-chan, if you are reading this, it’s highly probable that I am already gone or I’m unconscious (I have a stronger feeling of the earlier one though). Gomen ne Ryo-chan. I’ve been nothing but trouble to you and Sho-niichan lately. Also, gomen for not being able to keep my promise to see you at your altar and to be the one to dance that first dance with you. Sorry for not being able to hold your child and love them like you did to me.

The list would go on forever if I write here. Foremostly, I’m really sorry for hurting you and leaving you.

Just as I made niichan promise not to be sad and cry when I’m gone, I would really love for you to do the same. Niichan may seem strong on the outside but I know his soul is crumbling as each second past. He just wanted to stay strong so he would not be a burden to others. Make sure he would not overwork himself in order to get past his sadness.

Ryo-chan too, I don’t want you to mourn me leaving. Think of it this way, at least I can be with my mom and dad finally. But believe me, I’ll never forget minna. I’ll always live in your heart.

Lastly, before I bid my last goodbye, I want to thank minna for always being there for me.

And Ryochan, never hurt Ueda-niichan anymore please. He cares about you more than he does to himself. Arigatou na, Ryo-chan.’

Nishikido who was on his knee sank even lower. Ueda quickly rushed to his side as he embraced him protectively ignoring the glances of others. Silently Nishikido’s tears streamed his face without making even one sound.

*******

When everyone was finally gone, it really hit Yasuda that Catherine was never going to come back to him. He sat on Catherine’s bed as he reached for her pillow. The strong scent of strawberry mixed with vanilla was still strong on the pillow.

Without realising, his tears fell down his cheek to the pillow. He took a deep breath to hold it back instead, it just worsen the tightness in his chest and the flow of his tears.

Like a dream, he felt the familiar childish snuggle beside him. The kind that he knows he will miss. “I’m sorry for not keeping my promise not to cry.” Yasuda mumbled to himself. He would live for the snuggling sensation to stay longer with him but soon it was gone.

“If you saw what happened to me and Ryo-chan earlier, I’m really sorry for such thing. I hope he will be fine soon for all our sake.” Yasuda kept talking to the wind. “Hime-chan, be in peace where ever you are ne. I will be fine over time. But for now let me grief for losing you a little. It really hurts faking this strength.” he said as he snuggled the pillow close and eventually fell asleep in the room.