Summary: Another complimentary one-shot to Letting Go, but also readable as a standalone one-shot.
Characters/Pairings: Yabu/Inoo (InooBu), Yaotome/Arioka (DaiHika), Yaotome/Nakajima (HikaTo), Hey!Say!7/Arioka,
Rating: G
Word Count: 3,171
Disclaimer: I do not own Hey! Say! Jump or anyone mentioned in this fiction. I do not own a human being, honest. I just own the plot.
Genre: Hurt/Comfort
The night was quiet. It had only been one night. The soft chirp of the crickets was playing as if they were telling him he was not alone. He remembered the days when the nights were not so quiet. The nights that he could not even get to bed without shouting at one of the younger ones to keep it down. Those nights that seemed to be like light years ago. Those nights that he knew deep inside, he was the happiest. He was not alone. Never alone.
He blinked as his eyes kept stuck on the white ceiling. He missed him. He missed his little talks outside on the porch. Even on the coldest night of winter, he would be gazing at the stars. Sometimes he would be up on the rooftop during the summer time when it was not too hot. He missed the warm words that always whispered nice warm thoughts in his ears. Ambitions, hope and dreams.
His muse was somehow cut short by the knock on the door. “It’s not locked.” He said loud enough for the other person to hear but not too loudly that he could wake his neighbor in the next room. Opening the door he saw two younger members were standing at the door frame. “What’s wrong?” He asked as he sat up on his bed.
The smaller one just shook his head quietly. “We can’t sleep.” The taller one said. “It is okay if we stay here with you for a while?” He asked. He did not even need to ask. His door was open to anyone. It hit him. The kids missed him too.
“Dai-chan. I can’t sleep. I keep hearing his voice every time I close my eyes. I can feel his warm hands tucking me in bed like he always did.” The smaller one spoke finally as tears streamed down his cheeks. Quickly he got up from his bed and embraced the smaller boy. He is not that big either. He could never be him. He knew that.
The least he could do is give some comfort to the little ones. “I miss him too.” He said quietly as he coaxed both boys into the room. They did not need many words. Just being there, sufficed. The taller one looked down on his hands as he fidgeted. He was never one to show much of his emotion. He was never one to cry. He was the stronger ones amongst the younger ones. Gently Arioka caressed the taller one’s hair as he sat on the floor.
“Ne, do you think he felt pain when he…” The younger one tried to speak but words just could not come out of his mouth. Arioka was dumbfounded by his question. “Dai-chan, knew? You knew didn’t you?” He demanded as he looked up at the older boy.
The smaller one was clinging to him still sobbing softly. Arioka just nods at the question. “At least he would not feel any pain anymore, ne.” He spoke looking another way, avoiding the younger one’s eyes. “At least, he can rest now.” He spoke softly. His voice was clearly in denial.
Moments passed as one by one of the younger ones came in his room until all five of them was sitting around him. The room was not big, but it was enough to fit six lonely souls. Six souls that yearn for the same thing and missing the warmth of one person.
“Why didn’t Yuyan said anything to me?” The tallest one spoke again after a very heavy moment of silent passed. “The last thing he said was ’yoroshiku’, why? What does it mean?” He said finally breaking down. “Dai-chan too. Why didn’t you tell me?” He demanded as his hand balled into a fist grabbing the fabric of the older one’s pants. “Why didn’t anyone tell me anything?” His voice quivered as it quieted but tears were streaming down his face.
Daiki just kept quiet as he moved closer to the younger boy. Placing the smaller one’s head on his pillow. “He didn’t want anyone to know, Yuto. He didn’t even want me to know. I only got to know about it two months ago. He would not let me tell anyone. Especially you guys.” He explained. “Kei-chan and Kota-kun don’t know about this either.”
“He took care of us all the time. He… he could have at least let us do the same for him for once. Just one time.” Another boy spoke. “He didn’t sleep for nights, waiting after me, all I did was being a burden and hurting him.” Another one voiced.
Arioka closed his eyes as a single tear came out. “He took care of us all. He never thought of it as a burden. He was more afraid that if you knew, you’d worry about him. He couldn’t bear to see you guys worry, let him rest please.” He pleaded. “I miss him more, you know. I’ve been with him longer than any of you. He took care of me every time. But please, we need to let his soul rest in peace. He suffered enough.” Arioka snapped as he stormed out his room leaving the five little ones stunned.
With the walls supporting him, he made his way to the porch. The spot he was always at. He was always there. How he wished he could be there once more. Not to comfort him, not to tell him those nice warm words, but just to be there.
“Hey.” A familiar whiny voice said to him as his long fingers lay on the small of his back. He neither had the word to soothe the younger one nor did he come to call him back in. “I’m here if you need to talk.” He offered gently.
Arioka just shook his head. “I just need to be alone for now.” He hissed quietly. The older boy sighed as he went back into the hostel. Though the feeling of solitary does not last for long when the same five figures came and wrapped their arms around him silently. “I can never be him.” He said softly. The five boys still keeping silent, embraced him closer.
“We don’t need you to be Yuyan.” Chinen’s sincere voice spoke. “We need you. Don’t run away please.” He whimpered softly. His voice pleading. “Don’t leave us.” He pleaded as he clung close to Arioka.
“Never.” Arioka answered as a soft smile curved on his face. Never will he leave them in that state. Never will he run away from the one last wish Takaki had told him. From his one responsibility. “Gomen ne, for running out on you like that.” He spoke as he searched for Nakajima’s eyes.
The younger one just shook his head. His eyes glassy and his voice were caught in his throat. Though, his warm touch let the older one know he was fine. He was holding on trying his best not to break down like he did.
Inside the hostel, the sad atmosphere still lingers as a tall, pale boy walked in the room Takaki used to occupy. In his hand was a singular yellow crane that he had folded once during the junior years, those years when they had been very closed. The one thousand cranes they folded together for one wish. The wish for them to debut together and carry on doing what they loved the most.
That one yellow crane made the one thousand and one. The last one Takaki folded, not minding the paper cuts on his hand. The last one he ever did fold. The pale boy held it close to his heart before laying it on the bed. “You did not even let me thank you for all those years.” He said quietly. His heart felt heavy and his voice just could not escape from his throat.
“Kei?” A warm nasally voice greeted him. “Kei, are you alright?” He questioned. Inoo just nodded as he wiped the warm liquid that was trailing down his cheek. Gently the owner of the voice embraced him. “Are you alright?” He whispered softly as his nose grazed Inoo’s ear.
Inoo just nodded again in reply. “Can we just stay here for a moment, Ko? Just for a while longer.” Inoo said as his gentle hands reached for Yabu’s. The older one just nodded.
“Anything for you.” Yabu spoke softly as his free hand caressed Inoo’s thick hair gently. So gently as if he was afraid the younger one might break. Inoo laid his head back on the older one’s muscular chest as he closed his eyes. A soft smile formed on his face. “Nani?” Yabu questioned as he pecked the younger one’s forehead.
“He’s really gone isn’t he?” Inoo questioned. Yabu sat stunned before he could even open his mouth to speak. “He is really gone but his warmth is still here. It feels like he is still here.” Inoo spoke. “He left a piece of him in every one of us.”
Yabu felt his eyes stinging from the warm tears forming. Instead, he just embraced the younger one closer. They would have never had the strength to tell each other their true feeling without Takaki. They would not be as close as they are if it was not of Takaki. The gap between BEST and 7 will never be broken if it was not because of the man.
The two of them stayed close together in each other’s embrace for a little while longer. It was past ten o’clock when the two of them moved to the living room where the ten of them used to quarrel about anything and everything, the ten of them would settle anything. The ten of them would do everything together. A place that held so many memories for all of them.
None of them actually remember what time was it when they finally went to bed. Jolted by a nightmare, Chinen ran to the empty room by instinct. “Yuyan.” His voice small as he knocked on the empty room. “Yuyan, I had a nightmare, I want to sleep with you tonight.” He said softly.
It took him a few moments before realizing that he was talking to nothing but the stagnant air in the room. “Yuyan…” He whispered as his knees gave way and he sank to the floor. The little boy let the tears in his eyes flow freely as he stared into the nothingness ahead of him.
Being a light sleeper, Nakajima opened his door only to see the smaller boy as sobbing alone. He too missed the older boy. Yet he had no idea how to express it. He had no idea how to let go. Instead, he decided to just ignore the smaller boy and just lay his head back on his damp pillow.
Chinen slowly rose from the spot and dragged his little teddy with him as he headed for another room. He knocked softly before it was answered. “Can I sleep here tonight?” He questioned quietly. The older boy just smiled at him as he opened the door wide inviting him in. “Gomen ne, Kei-chan.” He spoke softly as he laid his head on the older boy’s chest.
“You can come here anytime.” Inoo spoke softly as he caressed the younger one’s hair until he fell asleep again. “Hora, Yuya, you don’t need to worry about anything Ne. Daiki and I will take care of these little precious ones.” He whispered to the night wind.
*******
Nakajima was always the loudest one and the one with the highest tension within the group. He was always bubbly and talkative. That day, during breaks he was quiet. He just sat in a corner, pretending to read a book, pretending everything was just as it was. Mainly because he did not want to make a fuss. Partly, he did not want to listen to Yabu yelling at him to keep quiet.
Everyone else was still eating in the cafeteria when he came into the dressing room and sat down on the couch. He could not eat much. Not because he was not hungry, he just could not bear to put the favorite food of his friend in his mouth without his eyes watering.
“Yuto, you okay?” The clown of the group said as he plopped down beside the lanky younger one. Nakajima just nodded. “Here, you barely eat anything just now.” He said as he passed the younger one a strawberry cream filled bread. “We’re going to have a long day today, I don’t want anything to happen to any of you. And I know you cannot eat the pizza just now. It reminds you too much of Yuya, doesn’t it.” Yaotome questioned. Nakajima just nodded. “Just so you know, I’m here if you need to talk. About anything at all. Just don’t keep everything bottled up, we need every each one of you in this group.”
Nakajima blinked as at tear rolled down his cheek. “I don’t know why but I just can’t accept that, Yuya is gone. That he will never tuck Chi to bed anymore, and he will never just sit and talk about random things. It just feels too wrong. It hurts so much trying to pretend like its fine. It’s never going to be fine. It’s never going to be the same anymore.” He spoke as he hugged his knees to his chest.
Yaotome stood up and took a jacket from the rack. “You don’t have to forget about him. Those memories, you shared with him will always be there with you. It is wrong. You will learn to let go someday, but keep holding on to those memories.” He spoke and wrapped the jacket around the younger one. “You know, sometimes the pain is just a reminder that we are alive. We are to continue what the ones that had gone before we started. Keep on going for their dreams as well as ours.” He continued. Nakajima looked at the usually funny man. He never thought the older man could be that deep. “That was the last jacket he had worn when Best went out together. It still smells like him doesn’t it?” Yaotome spoke as he wiped his own tears. “He was a great person, and he is still a great friend.” He said as he left the younger one alone in the room.
Nakajima wrapped the jacket tighter around him. It does feel like Takaki was still alive. The warm embrace and the smell of him filled Nakajima’s lungs. But that was not the only reason the jacket was wrapped around him. Yaotome knew there was a little something inside the pocket that would make Nakajima smile again. Hearing the little scrunching sound, Nakajima reached for the pockets. There were two pictures. One in each of the inner breast pocket.
In a familiar writing, there was a note behind both pictures. The first one was a picture of Jump members just after their first debut concert. The other was a picture of Inoo, Arioka, Takaki and himself, a picture of their junior days. ‘Of friendship’ was written on one and ‘of brotherhood’ on the other one.
Yaotome smiled as he made his way to the garden. No one suspected he knew anything. Mostly because he was never serious. He did not mind what people think about him. He knew what he was. He can be serious when he wants to and he can be really playful when he choose to.
”Out of everyone, I’m most afraid of two people. They can never show their feeling to others. They try not to.” Takaki spoke as he sat on the park bench. Yaotome followed suit. “Na, if something were to happen, take care of Daiki and Yuto for me, na. Kota-kun can never get through to them without a fight. These two are too gentle, but they try to be tough on the outside. “ Takaki said looking at the other’s face seriously.
“Nothing is going to happen to you, Bakaki, you can take care of them yourself.” Yaotome replied and instantly the mood of the conversation changed. Yet deep down, Yaotome understood the man.
In the cold weather of winter, the only ones that would usually hang outside at the garden were himself and Takaki. That time, there was a figure sitting the calmly just gazing at the pure white snow. “Is the seat taken?” Yaotome said smiling at the smaller boy. He just shook his head. “It’s cold out here.” He spoke again.
“So go inside and warm up.” The smaller one spoke with a soft smile.
“Dai-chan daijoubu?” Yaotome asked as he pulled a serious face. A smile curved on the smaller boy’s lips. “What? Do I have something on my face?” He asked suddenly. The smiling boy just shook his head. “Hm?” He cocked his eyebrow on one side.
“I’m fine, yesterday little meltdown drama will never repeat itself.” Arioka spoke smiling at the taller boy. “Did, Kei-chan or Kota-kun send you to check on me?” He questioned.
Yaotome just shrugged. “Not really. I was opening this little box and suddenly it felt lonely eating alone.” He grinned slyly as he produced a packet of Pocky.
“Baka!” Arioka scolded laughing slightly. Yaotome just smiled. At least he got the smaller boy smiling. “Why are you here?” Arioka questioned suddenly. Yaotome just shrugged as he waved the Pocky in front of Arioka’s face. “Okay, enough with the Pocky reason. The real reason.” Yaotome just shrugged. “I’m fine you know. And I’m not a kid anymore.” He replied.
The taller boy nodded. “If you say so. Do you still want to turn down my Pocky though?” He faked a pout. Giggling, Arioka took a stick and bit the end of it as he left the rest protruding out of his mouth. Smiling, Yaotome bites the other end until their lips met.
“You didn’t need a Pocky to steal that kiss from me you know.” Arioka stuck his tongue out. “Although it does make a nice touch.” He smiled as he laid his head on the taller man’s strong shoulder. Shutting his eyes, Arioka sighed. “Hikaru, why the sudden warmth?” He questioned.
Yaotome smiled as he wrapped his arms around the smaller boy. “Because I was an idiot not to see the person you are.” He whispered softly to Arioka’s ear. A smile was plastered on Arioka’s face, yet he said nothing back in return. “Or I’m just an idiot.”
Arioka snuggled closer to him. “Thank you. You don’t know how much that means to me.” Arioka said. Yaotome cupped his face for the smaller boy to face him. “Besides Yuya, I’ve never felt accepted in this group. He was the only reason I stayed on with Jump.” He smiled.
“Now, you know, there’s me.” Yaotome said embracing the younger one close to him. “I’ll be with you now Daiki.” He whispered softly.
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